Hola! Haha that's right about the only spanish I've been using since I got here. Alicante is beautiful. Lots and lots of apartment houses and paradise-like sidewalks. The beach is wonderful too, and there are palmtrees everywhere! Today it's a quite depressing gray sky out, but yesterday trhe sun was out all day! Guess if I got burnt! I'm insanely red all over my face and arms and people are seriously looking and laughing at me in the streets haha! 

Anyways, I'd better post this before my time runs out, I have 3 minutes left hehe.
I hope you have a good time at home, I miss you all! Love to everyone! <3 

I am so happy I honestly think I´m going to explode! Our consert is over. I can´t believe it but it is!
Everything went so well, we played and sang together, we danced and I for once could finally let go of the micstand and move with the music and the beats and I have never had so much fun doing anything! It was such a feeling being able to let go of the nervous feeling and just leave space for the thrilled excitement I felt the whole time! I want to do it again!
And it´s absolutely wonderful getting the response from all of the people in the cowd! You get so many beautiful words said about you and it just fills you with confidence and glorious happiness being surrounded by all the love! This has been two wonderful weeks and this night topped it all and we had the time of our lifes on that stage! We connected with eachother and the audience and with the music!

It´s just wonderful that such a feeling exists! Thank you for letting me feel it. 

Love love love!

The restlesness is eating me alive! Has been in bed for three days now with a killer fever. I have been so worried I wouldn´t get well before the concert come wendsday. But I´m better now thankfully and can go to school tomorrow. They really needed me there today and I´ve been feeling really bad that I wasn´t there, but I saw I had two choices. I could choose to go and risk getting the fever full on again, or I could stay home, get the fever completely out of my system even though our concert planning might fall behind schedule... Well after hearing about all the chaos with the trains I didn´t want to risk getting stuck waiting outside for two hours for a train. I know myself well enough to know that my immune system would bulge easily to that kind of exposure...
Why do I feel like I have to explain myself??
Probably because I feel so bloody useless...

Anyways... I am currently making the ultimate playlist on spotify. Both old and new. Everything that makes me happier. Losprophets and You Me At Six and 30 Seconds to Mars are real lifesavers!
Now I think it´s time for a big fat nice cup of tea! And a good book! Try and feel a little better.
Love to you all!


Beautiful picture from ninth grade, Idre!

My warming candle for this night!

It was released today at paramore.net. Isn´t it beautiful. In my opinion their greatest and most interesting video to date!
I had Fanny on the phone this morning, squealing that it had come out on the website and that I had to see it. Unfortunately, I had a songsession with my songteacher at the time, so that was a bit unfortunate. Now, however, I´ve had time to listen to it several times and it just keeps getting better haha!

This day has come to an end. It´s been a very good day all in all. We´ve made a lot of progress on some of our songs! It feels great, really, hearing and feeling, deep inside you, how everything fits and works perfectly. Of course we have a long way to go on other songs, but it really raises your spirits when this finally happens and it certainly gives you hope that the rest of it can sound amazing to!
I really could do this every day of my life. It´s so much fun and it´s great experience for the future!
Highlight was when we played my solo song, Paramores "Misguided Ghosts" and Lovisa (on guitarr) played Joshs´ guitarr loop perfectly! The ones who have heard it knows how complicated it is, but she pulls it off, over anyones expectiations! And then I start singing, and we time eachother (almost, haha) perfectly and that just makes me smile and smile and smile! It makes me so incredibly thilled to hear one of my absolute favorite songs being played all around me and fill me up and I get to sing along to it! Gaaah I get excited just thinking about it!!

Ahhh, we decided to start at noon tomorow. We make our own shemes now you know, now that we don´t have lessons. Haha, so a well deserved sleep-in for me tomorrow!
Have a pleasant night! 

I don´t believe that people can change. Not truly change. You cant´t change who you are, your personality.
I do, however, believe that people can grow. I believe that people can choose to learn from their past mistakes and take a step in another direction. I believe that one can choose to look at things in a different way, and by doing so, choosing to let themselfes grow. I believe that it´s our choices who makes us who we are. These choices are those we make every day? They shape us.
What choices did you make today?
Who will you choose to be?   

I feel like writing in english again... I´m seriously thinking about letting it become a "thing" here haha. I mean, I´m really only writing for myself, because I enjoy it. But I know that I would like it more if I wrote in english instead of swedish. Do you think it´s a stupid idea? Tell me if you think it´s completely riddiculous. 
Right now I feel like writing in english anyway...

Today we discussed "Homework? Pros and cons" in our english class. Sure I can see the posetive sides of having homework. They are supposed to help you repeat and memorize what you might have learned in class. You are supposed to be able to go home and sit in peace, reading or writing in your own pace. All that to relive your own learning.
But as I sit here, trying with all my life not to fall asleep over my books, feeling like my head is going to burst open any minute and knowing that I still have about 15 pages left to read I feel like the purpose of so called "helpful homework" is lost. This isn´t helping. All it´s doing is making me feel stressed and slightly sick and increadably tired. It is going to affect my sleep now. And then it´s giong to affect my day tomorow. And then when I get home tomorrow I will once again ahve to sit up late with even more to do and then I will get even less sleep, and so it goes on and on and on. When will it ever stop...?
I can probably rant about this all night, but I have things to do still...

But furst I must advertise ´Oh My God! produktionskonsert!´ Mine, Matildas and Amandas productionconsert that everyone do in their sophomore year at Sthlms Estetiska Gymn. It is going to be so much fun, come and see us!!

 
This is our advertiser poster, isn´t it great? The consert is at 20.00, 24/2. Be. There. People!

Love to you all!

I´m in an odd mood today so I´m going to do what I have been thinking about doing for some time now. I´ve been thinking of writing in english just for the fun of it. And because I have no other let-out for all the great sentences thet keeps poping into my head whenever I write in swedish. And after Sofias encouragement I thought "why not"! 
Our english teatcher is obviously incapable of giving us something one could actually learn from. But today, me and Matilda finally tried to convince her to set us an essey or some other creative work. (!! Imagine that, students begging for homework!! haha) I even had the nerv to say that I hadn´t learned a thing all year, and instead of getting my drift, she seemed to think that it was somebody elses problem to solve and sympathized with me as though she expected someone else to do something about it... Well, I guess we´ll see what happens. In the mean time, I guess I can write here in english occationally. 

I came to think about something yesterday. I remember one summer when I was about 14-15 something. I went with Ronja and Gustav and Ronjas relative to Vitabergs parken to see some kind of garageband-show. It turned out to consist of many different bands singing scremo-metal-rock. Not exactly what I had had in mind, I was hardly into rock at all at the time, god knows what I listened to then... But I had a good time afterall. Anyway, in the middle of the whole thing, this girl went up on stage alone and, instead of singing or playing anything, she started talking about words. She said she had many favourite words and asked the audience what their favourite words were. Anyway, I then couldn´t understand why someone would develope an interest in words. But now I understand her. 
Of course, her words were all in swedish, a language I couldn´t be less interested in. But english words, now that´s fascinating! There are so many, many more of them to choose from than in the swedish vocabulary, and so many fantastic sentences to form with all of them. That´s what I discovered when I had read all the HP books and started to read other litterature in english. I realised how much I had learned from reading Joanne Rowlings books, because, even for a brittish author, she used unusually many words and varied them and her sentences. That´s part of why I can read them over and over again, because I learn new words all the time by reading them. 
That´s more than I can say about going to our english lessons. I´d like to say so badly that I learn something new every time, byt sadly that would be a lie. 

Wow, I really feel much happier after having written all this! It became a wee bit more than I had anticipated, but there you have it... I really ought to study, I have a major math-test tomorrow and I´m going to fail so badly!

But before I get back to that I want you to hear my source of joy for this morning. A new band I found called Jacks´ Mannequin. I simply adore their "The Mixed Tape"! Love it!
This is the video wich was really hard to find for some reason, Hillarie Burton is in it haha!

Någon som känner till ett bra, högt hus tak? Känner så för att stå och skrika så högt jag kan högt ovanför en stad nägonstans!
Denna låt får mig att känna att allt är möjligt! I´m invincible!
Nu ska jag gå och göra saker möjliga!

Har börjat roa mig själv att lyssna på den brittiska radio kanalen BBC:s Radio 1. Är specielt intresserad i deras lördags program Live Lounge med Jo Whiley. Hon har världens vackraste brittiska, älskar det! Hon intervjuar massa intressanta artister och braiga band! Har lyssant på intervjuer med Boys Like Girls, Kelly Clarkson (bara för att jag var ett så stort fan för några år sen haha), Lostprophets, Paramore och You Me At Six.
Så fruktansvärt mycket roliga människor det finns!
Tyvärr går inte alla att lyssna på "in your area". Förbannar en en gång att jag bor i sverige!

 

Få saker kan få mig att känna mig så sliten som att sitta på tåget klockan halv sju på morgonen på en söndag med människor som är påväg till jobbet när jag själv är påväg hem från en 18-års fest. Var äntligen hemma i min säng klockan sju, efter en två timmars lång och framför allt kall tågväg hem från nynäshamn. Snacka om att vända upp och ned på dygnet...
Sliten känner jag mig fortfarande. Hängig med huvudverk och lätt förkylning höll mig hemma idag. Och sömnbrist givetvis. 

Ska duscha nu och försöka tagga upp för konserten på Nybrokajen i morgon. 
puss!  

"Du hjälper aldrig till här hemma."
"Jag vill åka charter."
"Du har inte sparat några pengar alls till din resa, jag vill inte betala två resor för dig."
"Har inte du läxor att göra?"
"Du vill ju inte bli osams med dina kompisar."
"Stressa inte upp dig över det här nu."
"Om du bara tog dig tid till..."
"Jag hör aldrig dig träna på gitarren, jag trodde du tyckte att det var roligt, vill du inte lära dig spela gitarr?"
"Varför ska du alltid ha en sån ton för?"
"Du säger alltid att du är trött, vi är trötta allihopa."
"Äsch, vadå du har inte tid?!"
"Jag är så trött på att se dig ligga i soffan!"
"Om du går och lägger dig tidigare på kvällen så slipper du vara så trött på morgonen."
"Vi kan inte vänta längre med att boka."
"Ni vill hellre åka med dem istället för med mig."
"Om du ska få ihop pengarna så måste du ju ha ett jobb."
"Jämför dig inte så mycket med andra jämt."
"Måste du sjunga här?"
"Vad är det? Jag ser att det är något, du ser ju så ledsen ut."
"Du är snart vuxen, då måste du kunna ta ansvar för sånt här själv."
"Skolan kommer först."
"Måste du alltid sjunga så högt i duschen?"
"Se till att lösa det där nu."

Vill att ni ska höra dessa vackra låtar som gjort min redan braiga (in lack of a better word hehe) kväll ännu lite bättre!

´The Consequence´ av You Me At Six från deras alldeles nysläppta album ´Hold Me Down´!
Fantastisk! Inget mindre än jag förväntat mig av dessa härliga människor! Har en så att säga Crushcrushcrush på sångaren Joshs´ vackra röst!

Trots att jag kanske sov lite för länge i morse så har jag ändå åstakommit en del idag. Har skrivit klart mitt CV och personligt brev (som för övrigt låter som en kontaktannons haha) och fixat med mina tavlor. Hunnit städa och påbörjat en rensning av garderoben. And on top of that, en skön promenad! Haha en riktig söndag-söndag tycker jag.
Dessa tavlor jag nu håller på att fixa. Jag sätter in citat från låttexter och annat som smarta musik människor sagt.
Här är ett av dem som ska sitta på min vägg:

"Realising that the lowest point that you can get is sometimes the best place to be because you´ve got nowhere to go but up."
Josh Farro,
Paramore guitarist.

Ha en bra kväll!

Äntligen är inslagandet av julklappar över. Inte för att jag behövde slå in fler än en själv då, jag mutade andra att göra det åt mig hehe. Att slå in julklappar ar nog det värsta jag vet med juen. Dagen har jäktat förbi med städning och bakning och påklädning av julgranen. Vackert glimmande i varma färger som vanligt. Har saknat den lite minsann!

Vad jag skulle vilja dela med er ikväll är några fina citat som väckt tankar och inspireret mig en del.

"Remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. It´s good to work hard but you have to choose your battles so you can do this long term. You can wear yourself out."
Tom Dumont, No Doubt guitarist.

Jag vet att Mr. Dumont talar om relationen i ett band (med god erfarenhet seeing as No Doubt fortfarande håller ihop efter över 20 år). Men jag tycker att hans ord kan ha en mening i allt som handlar om livet.

"You have to jump sometimes. You have to go out and do it for yourself."
Hayley Williams, Paramore vocalist.

Jag är inte så bra på att ta saker i mina egna händer, men det kommer jag bli bättre på. Så är det bara!

"I just grabbed a spoon."
Ross Geller, Vänner.

Jag tror att jag kanske grabbed en liten. En dag kommer jag grabba en större. Men just nu känns det väldigt bra att hålla i den.

"Maybe christmas does´nt come from a store. Maybe christmas means a little bit more!"
Jim Carrey, Grinchen.

Tyckte att det var väldigt passande såhär, när julafton faktiskt har börjat. Överkonsumtion är inget konstigt under juletider. Jag tror att vi borde påminna oss själva om att julen är mer än bara julklappar.

Hoppas nu att alla får en supermysig jul, firandes med människor man älskar, med skratt och god mat!
                                                                     God jul!